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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25090663">One of those things</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchswhore/pseuds/hotchswhore'>hotchswhore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends, Cleaning, Episode Related, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentions of Death, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sad Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:20:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25090663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchswhore/pseuds/hotchswhore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After his standoff with Diane Turner, Reid is slipping into a dangerous place. Reader helps. </p>
<p>(Spoilers for season 8!!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One of those things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is losely based on the first part of S8E13. After Maeve’s death, where Reid is ignoring everyone, and you see him all sad in his super messy apartment.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is Spencer Reid. Please leave a message." </p>
<p>That was the fifth time in a row I had gotten his voicemail. I put my head in my hands, leaning against my desk. I knew he was physically okay, but in the six years we had known each other, he had never once not returned my call. </p>
<p>From the day I met him, I knew I would fall in love with him. It was a 'when, not if' situation. We had an immediate connection, but it was obviously different from my perspective. I had to find out about Maeve from Alex, which I wasn’t too happy about for multiple reasons. </p>
<p>The obvious, I was upset Reid had found himself a girlfriend, but I was also hurt that he didn’t tell me. That was the first time he had ever kept a secret from me. Ever. </p>
<p>I lied awake at night, telling myself that I should be nothing but happy for him, and that if I loved him, I should want him to have that. </p>
<p>Now, I’m seriously beating myself up, seeing how upset he his, and how deeply he felt for her. I shouldn’t feel even a tiny bit happier. But I kind of did. </p>
<p>However, after receiving his voicemail the sixth time, the friend side of our relationship kicked in, and I knew I had to do something. </p>
<p>I got up from my desk, and walked over to Morgan’s office. </p>
<p>"Hey, (Y/N)."</p>
<p>"Hey, Morgan. I just wanted to ask- Is Reid taking your calls?" I asked tentatively, a bit scared for his answer.</p>
<p>Morgan sighed and leaned back in his chair.</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>I let out the breath I was holding. "Well I guess it’s nice to know it’s not just me."</p>
<p>"I guess. I’m really worried. I mean, I know he’s a lot stronger than I give him credit for, but I’m scared he wont bring himself to ask for help- which he needs." He said, still leaning back in his chair, twiddling with a pen. </p>
<p>"I was actually thinking about taking an emergency couple personal days, try and get him to talk to me."</p>
<p>He let out a small laugh. "Good luck. Garcia has been over there every single day, and the best she’s got has been him knocking on the door back at her."</p>
<p>"That’s where my secret weapon comes in," I said as I began reaching in my pocket. "Listen, he made me promise I wouldn’t tell you, but I have a key to his apartment." I held up the silver key, bracing for Morgan’s reaction. </p>
<p>"Damn, (Y/N)! That’s impressive, but I can’t imagine he’ll be too happy about you letting yourself in…"</p>
<p>I sighed. "Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll give him plenty of warning. And like you said, he’s probably scared to ask for help, but he might accept it if it came to him voluntarily."</p>
<p>"Good luck." He sat back up in his chair, and gave me a slight bob of his head as a goodbye. </p>
<p>I slipped out, and began my trek to Hotch’s office. </p>
<p>I stopped just outside the door, and took a breath before knocking slightly. </p>
<p>"Come in."</p>
<p>"Hey, I have a favor to ask."</p>
<p>"Yeah, what is it?" He motioned to the chair opposite him. </p>
<p>"I don’t know if you’ve tried to call Reid, but he’s not responding to anyone. I’m confident that he has slipped into a depressive episode, and we both know he’s had trouble with those in the past."</p>
<p>He nodded in agreement, and sighed loudly.</p>
<p>"You want to stay behind for this case, to be here for him." He said, eyeing me with a signature Hotchner stare. </p>
<p>I let out a breath, relieved. "Please."</p>
<p>"That’s fine, but I reserve the right to make you fly to San Fransisco, in the event that this case gets crazy once we’re out there."</p>
<p>"Deal."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>I had just entered Reid’s building when Morgan called me. </p>
<p>"Hey Morgan what’s up?"</p>
<p>"Hotch wants me to keep you on the loop with this case. You looked at the original files right?"</p>
<p>"I did."</p>
<p>"Good, I’m calling to let you know that this dude has started cutting the victims eyelids off."</p>
<p>I shuddered, as I finished the last flight of stairs.</p>
<p>"Gross. Send me some pictures. I have to go Morgan, I’ll talk to you later." I stopped in front of number 23, taking a breath before knocking.</p>
<p>I waited for thirty seconds, and got nothing in response. </p>
<p>"Reeeiiiid… It’s (Y/N). You know I just want to make sure you’re alright…"</p>
<p>Again, nothing.</p>
<p>"You’ve forced my hand- I’m coming in!" I reached into my pocket for the key and turned the lock. </p>
<p>As soon as I opened the door, I knew I was right to do so. I had never seen Reid’s place like this. Books were strewn across the floor, dirty dishes sat on the counter, the shades were pulled closed, collecting dust. </p>
<p>I could see his curly hair peeking over the armrest of the couch, completely unresponsive to me so far. I walked over, and crouched in front of him.</p>
<p>"Hey, Spence. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want, but I’m just going to clean up a bit and maybe when I’m done we can read something. Is that okay?"</p>
<p>He didn’t open his eyes, but his head nodded once.</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>I started with the kitchen- the dishes, countertops and expired food in the fridge. What really broke me were the books. Books were so precious to Spencer, and they had been thrown around like they were garbage. I carefully picked up each one, putting them back on the shelves lining the living room. I smiled, reading some of the titles in languages I couldn’t even identify. I slowly opened the curtains, not wanting to startle Reid.</p>
<p>I went into his bedroom and bathroom, picking up the clothes strewn around, and making his bed. I started a load of laundry, then went to find the broom. I swept the whole apartment, ending in the kitchen. I looked up from dumping the pan in the kitchen trashcan, to find Spencer standing behind me. He stood there with this arms crossed defensively, in his patterned bathrobe. </p>
<p>"Hey, you." I said, cocking my head and giving him a soft smile.</p>
<p>"Hello." His face didn’t change. </p>
<p>"Do you want to go put on some clean clothes? I put a fresh set on your bed…" I walked a little closer to him. "I really want to hug you- can I? It’s alright if not."</p>
<p>"It’s okay.</p>
<p>I practically launched myself at him, tightening both my arms around his neck, and burying my face in his shoulder. It took him a second, but he eventually brought his arms up around my waist. </p>
<p>"I would like those clothes. Thank you so much." He whispered it into my hair, and I sighed with relief. </p>
<p>"Of course. Go get changed, and I’ll be waiting for you on the couch."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>He came back, and I was flipping through the Arthur Conan Doyle book that had been sitting on the coffee table. The one book that hadn’t been thrown on the ground when I came in. </p>
<p>"Hey! Looking good in clean clothes!" I teased. </p>
<p>He gave me a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. </p>
<p>"This book seems to be important to you right now.. would you like me to read it to you, and you can try to sleep?" I suggested, not expecting him to agree.</p>
<p>"I would like that."</p>
<p>He couldn’t have missed the smile that spread across my face, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. </p>
<p>"The Narrative of John Smith, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. My name is John Smith…"</p>
<p>I read for over an hour, and in that time, the two of us had shifted, to where Spencer was lying between my legs, using my stomach as a pillow. Once I was sure he was asleep, I stopped my oration, setting the book back down on the coffee table. </p>
<p>These were the times that got me. When he unknowingly shifted closer to me in his sleep, or how when he was completely oblivious to the fact that I was the only person in the BAU he didn’t shy away from when they touched him. Times like these made my heart flutter, but at the same time, so incredibly heartbroken. What’s going to happen between us that hasn’t happened in six years? And especially now- he isn’t going to heal from this for a long time. </p>
<p>I could feel tears sting at my eyes. I love him so much, and he can’t know. </p>
<p>I guess it’s just one of those things.</p>
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